


Dora Maar

by odetoptg



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, i love art and i love seventeen so here we are, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28893441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetoptg/pseuds/odetoptg
Summary: Dora Maar ; Picasso's lover, portrait subject, and poet. She was depicted as the most beautiful woman in Picasso's eyes. Seungcheol would become Joshua's Dora Maar.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Dora Maar

It was the early hours of a bright Saturday morning, around seven a.m. Joshua woke up in the comfort of his bed like he always did, but unlike every other morning, he had extra weight beside of him. He was slightly shocked at the new sensation of warmth, but his mind eased when he glanced back and just saw that it was his best friend, Seungcheol. He had slept over last night because he had started to drink when he arrived and couldn't drive. Joshua smiled at his friend, brushing some of the hair from his forehead and sighed happily. He got up slowly, making his way to his medicine cabinet and grabbing some aspirin and a water bottle, knowing Seungcheol was going to wake up with a pounding headache as he always does when he drinks, no matter the amount he consumes. He set the items on the table beside of him, watching as he rolled over and pulled Joshua's pillow into his chest, cuddling it close to him.  
  
  
Joshua smiled as he sat at his computer desk, admiring how comfortable and peaceful his friend looked. He always thought Cheol was beautiful, inside and out. He had one of those hearts that was bigger than it should be. He had such a beautiful, free soul, it often made Joshua jealous. Not jealous in a way that made him spiteful, but jealous of how much Seungcheol cared about people, how much he truly was the kindest and most compassionate man he had ever had the pleasure to know. He always questioned how he got so lucky to be friends with someone like him, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. He was beautiful on the outside too. Every feature of Seungcheol's, Joshua could take in and study forever. He often caught himself staring at Seungcheol, especially in times like these when he was so peaceful and content. But he often took note of his facial expressions when he's concentrating, how happy he looks when he wins a video game, looks of disappointment when things don't typically go his way; all of it. Joshua truly thought Seungcheol was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his entire life and he liked to remind him about it every chance he got.  
  
  
Seungcheol didn't believe his words, though. He often felt that he didn't deserve those types of compliments about himself because he was so insecure. He always thought that Joshua would only say those things because he had to as his best friend. He tried to let his walls down and just believe what Josh would tell him, but it was so hard. Growing up, he never had much confidence, so he always put it into other people. He always tried to make other people feel amazing about themselves in every way possible, but his own confidence faltered. Joshua tried to reassure him every chance he got, not even just on his looks, but the way he handled situations, the way he treated everyone with kindness, how he kept his cool and never lashed out on anyone. Seungcheol tried his best to believe his friend, but it was much harder than he thought.  
  
  
Joshua couldn't help himself and he stared at Seungcheol as he slept so peacefully and unbothered. His cheeks were slightly flushed red, most likely from the alcohol the night before and the warmth of the blanket. His jet black hair was ruffled from the movements as he slept the night before, little strands sticking to his forehead from the slight sweat that adorned his forehead. His lips slightly parted as his breath cascaded between them. Even his eyelashes were noticeable, long and delicate as they laid against his cheeks. His body now laid where Joshua's was previously, clinging to the pillow, a slight smile forming on his lips. Joshua thought he never looked so precious in his life. Joshua also knew how lucky he was to see Seungcheol in such a fragile, delicate state. Seungcheol often kept this side of himself hidden. He wasn't someone who had a hard exterior, but he didn't like to be vulnerable, fragile in front of anyone. Joshua was the only one he let in and for that, Joshua was thankful.  
  
  
As he looked over his friend, taking in all of his features, he got an idea. He knew it was still quite early and Seungcheol would probably be asleep for at least another hour or so due to not going to bed until around two that morning. Joshua wanted to sketch him, exactly the way he was right now. He took a picture as he was, but he knew that wouldn't be enough. He grabbed his sketchbook quietly, opening it to a new page and turned to look at Seungcheol. Joshua was quite the artist and he found himself enamored with how amazing a subject Seungcheol could be. He often drew Seungcheol from memory, in different forms and different mediums. Joshua would never admit it, but he was heavily infatuated with his friend. He longed to have him in his life as more than a friend and he truly felt a connection with him. He wasn't sure if it was love, but he knew it was more than just a friendly infatuation. He didn't think he could ever tell him, though. Seungcheol was open about a lot of things with Joshua, telling him many of his secrets, even coming out to him as bisexual. Joshua admired his courage and wished he had the same. He wanted to tell Seungcheol about his sexuality, but he knew it could bring the possibility of making things awkward and his feelings could be revealed, so he kept quiet and stayed to himself about it and admired him from afar.  
  
  
Joshua grabbed his pencil and began his rendition of Seungcheol. He was eager to draw him in such a peaceful state, and getting to take in all of his features and draw him in a perfect light. The sun was starting to rise, bringing a lovely glow and shine through the curtains, landing perfectly on Seungcheol's perfect features. He looked so gorgeous and Joshua couldn't get enough of it. His hand began in quick swift motions, starting with the basic shape of the bed and how Cheol's body laid out so lazily against the sheets. He drew his figure exactly how it was, slightly curled up, on his side, clinging to pillow to his chest. His t-shirt had slightly risen, sweatpants drooped just enough that his stomach was showing. Seungcheol wasn't as fit as he would have liked to have been, of course he had slight chub that he so desperately wanted to get rid of, but Joshua thought he looked incredible. His hair was ruffled in a black mess upon his head, laying against his forehead softly. His lips were still parted slightly, but almost in a smile now. Joshua drew every single feature of him with as much detail as he could make. He took notice to draw the slight creases by his eyes, the dimple by his cheek, even the moles that adorned his neck. Joshua had seen him in many different situations before, but somehow this was his favorite. He was so peaceful, so angelic in a way. He continued his drawing, making sure to put the small details in the shading to make it as realistic as possible. He worked in silence, the only noises to be heard were the birds beginning to chirp outside in the trees and the soft scratch of his pencil against the paper.  
  
  
Seungcheol, after about an hour and a half of Joshua drawing, began to shift and start to wake up. He groaned quietly, moving his arms out from underneath the pillow he was cuddling, rubbing his eyes and sighing softly as he finally opened his eyes and looked around. Joshua smiled at him softly, waiting for him to try and fully wake up before saying anything to him. All Joshua could think was how cute he looked first waking up, how precious he was in this very moment. Seungcheol woke up fully, taking in his surroundings before his eyes landed on Joshua, who was just smiling at him from the desk chair.  
  
  
"Good morning, sleepy head." Joshua chuckled quietly and smiled at him.  
"What time is it?" His voice groggy from just waking up.  
"It's only about eight thirty." Joshua started, before motioning to the bed side table, "I put some aspirin and a water bottle right there in case you needed it. You drank a lot last night."  
Seungcheol only sighed in response, leaning over to down the water and the aspirin without a second breath. It was quiet for a moment as Seungcheol just stared out for a moment, which he tended to do a lot. Joshua was always curious about what exactly he was thinking about when that happened. Maybe he wasn't thinking about anything at all, perhaps he just needed a second before talking or doing something. He pulled the blankets up over himself again, only leaning back against the headboard and glancing at his best friend who was still taking him in.  
  
"How much did I drink last night?" He asked softly, a hint of disappointment in his voice.  
"Not too much, don't be so hard on yourself," Joshua smiled reassuringly, "You were having a bad night, it's okay to drink sometimes you know? At least you were safe and you didn't do anything you'd regret."  
"I didn't?" His voice sounded surprised, like he had done something before that didn't have the best result.  
Joshua chuckled and shook his head as he glanced down at his drawing, shading something in before looking back at him.  
"No, you came over, told me you were confused and upset but never said what it was about. Asked if I had any alcohol and started drinking. Then, after that we just talked for a bit about something that I can't remember, watched a movie, and went to sleep."  
Seungcheol nodded slowly, seeming as though it was all coming back to him before he sighed, rubbing his hand along his neck.  
"Yeah, I kinda remember now." He laughed softly before standing up, careful not to go too fast since his head was pounding.  
  
  
He smiled as he made his way over to Joshua, who quickly started to panic when he realized the sketch of Seungcheol was right there in the open and he would be embarrassed if he saw it so soon. He never wanted to reveal his art to Seungcheol. It wasn't bad and it wasn't anything lewd, of course, but he didn't want to send the wrong message and have Seungcheol feel uncomfortable. He closed the sketchbook nonchalantly, which Seungcheol took notice too, but he brushed it off, not thinking anything about it. He knew Joshua did art and sketches, but he never really liked to show it. Seungcheol had asked him about it in the past, if he could see it because he knew it was probably good, but Joshua was too nervous and too embarrassed to show him, especially because most of his subject matter was Seungcheol in some shape or another. Most of it wasn't obvious it was him, but this particular one was plain as day that it was.  
  
  
"Can we go get some breakfast? I would die for some waffles right about now." Seungcheol laughed softly and Joshua nodded.  
"Sure, let me go get changed." 

  
The two got ready, Seungcheol having clothes already in Joshua's apartment, and they headed to their favorite diner to have breakfast, which had become a routine between the two of them. They had been friends for over four years now, since they met in college, and they often frequented this diner, especially after nights of drinking such as the one Seungcheol had last night. They sat down and ordered their usual breakfast items before starting up a simple, small talk conversation. After a few minutes, though, Joshua spoke up.  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, Cheol, you said you were confused and upset about something last night. When you got to my house, you had slight tears in your eyes when you got there, but you wouldn't tell me what it was about." Joshua paused, hoping he wasn't about to push into territory that he shouldn't have, "Do you want to talk about it now?"  
  
Seungcheol's face changed quickly, but Joshua couldn't tell if it was good or bad, the actual emotion or feeling behind it was hard to figure out and hard to pinpoint. Now, Joshua was fearful that he had upset him and shouldn't have brought it up. He was about to apologize and tell him that he didn't have to say, but he started to speak before he could.  
  
"I was just.. having a pretty hard time last night before I came over to your house," Seungcheol started, rubbing his hands over his thighs slightly, "My mind has been racing about something recently and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's not really something I can explain really, because trust me if I could, I would. I came to this realization last night and I wasn't sure what to do or think about it. Like I said, I would tell you if I knew how. But I figured being with my best friend would help me calm down and forget about it for the time being, which it did, so thank you." He finished with a slight smile.  
  
  
Joshua still was confused and it didn't quite answer his question. It was an intriguing answer, something Joshua wasn't expecting. He assumed it was for a specific reason and that maybe he was upset because of something that happened, or something that was said. But he was being cryptic about whatever it was that was bothering him and Josh wanted to know more. However, he knew his friend and he didn't want to push him.  
  
  
"I see." Joshua said simply, before continuing, "Well I am glad that I could help you get your mind off of it. And whatever it is, I hope that you get it figured out soon and I'll be here if you want to talk about it or need help figuring it out in any way." He smiled softly and Seungcheol returned his soft smile.  
"Thank you Josh, I know you're always there for me." Joshua couldn't help but melt at the smile that he gave him. He always admired Cheol's smile, but something about the way he smiled at **_him_** would always have a special place in his heart, even if Seungcheol wouldn't be in it romantically.   
  
  
"What are you going to do today?" Seungcheol asked him after another moment of silence, tilting his head like a little kid would do when they were curious, or like a small puppy. Joshua was done for, he was _whipped_.   
  
"I was probably going to hang out at home, maybe do some painting," Joshua shrugged softly, "I don't have to work so I might as well relax while I can." He chuckled and looked over at Seungcheol who almost looked like he wanted to say something but it wouldn't come out. Joshua rose an eyebrow at him before Seungcheol spoke up, but quietly.   
  
"Could I watch?" His voice was soft, gentle, delicate, like it was a ludicrous request that he wasn't supposed to ask.   
"You want to watch me paint?" Joshua made sure to match his friend's soft tone, to make sure it didn't come off rude or sarcastic.   
Seungcheol nodded carefully, giving a nervous smile. Joshua thought it was so cute and his heart was pounding. He didn't understand why he was so affected by this and he couldn't tell if he was nervous or excited, possibly both.   
"Only if that's okay with you." Seungcheol quickly retorted after there was silence from his question and he started to get worried that it was a strange thing to ask.   
"Oh, yeah, yeah that's fine with me. No one's really asked to watch me paint before." Joshua chuckled nervously before nodding. "But you can sit with me while I paint, sure."   
Seungcheol smiled and nodded happily, a smile forming on his face and Joshua couldn't help but smile right back at him.   
  
  
After the two finished eating breakfast, they went back to Joshua's apartment and Seungcheol seemed much more excited than he thought he was going to be and Joshua took notice pretty quickly. It was cute seeing him excited, but Joshua was nervous as could be. He had never really painted or drawn in front of anyone before with them watching. He was unsure if he would be able to paint with precision or without his hands shaking with someone watching him, especially when it was the one person that he always portrayed in so many of his artworks. They went into the spare bedroom that Joshua had made his art studio. Seungcheol had seen the room before, but never actually went inside. There were a couple paintings lining the walls, mainly ones that Joshua did while in college or his landscapes. Of course he wouldn't display his works of Seungcheol on the walls with the risk of Seungcheol seeing it. Thankfully he thought of that before now.   
  
  
Joshua sat down in front of his easel and smiled over at Seungcheol nervously. He slid his apron that he wore to protect his clothes and grabbed a new canvas from the many he had laying around, getting his paint and his brushes before sitting down and offering a chair to Seungcheol. He sat down, curiosity filling his eyes as he looked excited to see what Joshua would paint. The look in his eyes was so innocent, so pure, genuine excitement and Joshua could feel his heart _**fluttering.**_  
  
"What are you going to paint?" He glanced at Joshua, tilting his head again in that curious look.   
  
"Hmm.." Joshua thought about it for a moment, wondering what he actually did plan on painting today. "I thought about painting a beach scene but I already have done a couple of those before." He shrugged and looked at Seungcheol, their faces were quite close to one another since Seungcheol leaned in a bit closer. "Unless you have another suggestion."   
  
"M-Me? You want my suggestion?" Seungcheol's voice wavered slightly and Joshua didn't know why he was so nervous all of a sudden. It seemed so out of character for Seungcheol, but he didn't question it quite yet, just nodding and chuckling softly.   
  
"Yeah, I mean if you have one. If not that's-" Joshua was quickly cut off with an eager response from Seungcheol.   
  
"Will you paint me?" His voice was soft, barely audible, but there was a hint of excitement and nervousness all at the same time. Joshua was surprised at his friend's request and he started to get nervous. He had painted him all the time, drawn his likeness hundreds of times in his sketchbooks over the years, but to have him sitting here, modeling for him and painting him was another level that Joshua didn't know if he was ready for.   
  
"If you want to be my subject, then sure." Joshua smiled, but on the inside he was quaking at the thought of being able to take in every single detail of Seungcheol to paint him in perfect likeness. "But it might be a quick and simple portrait because I wouldn't want you to sit for too long."   
  
Seungcheol shook his head and smiled, standing up, "No, I want you to paint me however you want to, no matter how long it takes, I want to see how well you can paint me." His voice was certain, confident, and sure that he wouldn't mind sitting for hours if it meant Joshua had a perfect figure to paint. Something about the way Seungcheol was so eager excited Joshua but made him that more nervous about messing up.   
  
"Alright, if that's what you want me to do, then I'll do it." Joshua nodded and told Seungcheol to do whatever he wanted, however he wanted him to paint him. Seungcheol told him that he would be right back, walking to Joshua's room and changing, fixing himself up slightly before coming back in.   
  
  
When he walked back in, Joshua thought he was going to pass out from what he was looking at. He couldn't take his eyes off of Seungcheol right now. He had went and changed into one of Joshua's hoodies. Even though they were about the same height, somehow, he looked smaller in it than Joshua ever did. It seemed as though it swallowed him whole as he sat back down in the chair. His hair looked about the same as it did this morning when he was in the bed, a slight blush on his cheeks, but this time was for a different reason. He crossed his legs and smiled at Joshua with that smile that made Joshua feel so warm inside.   
  
"Is this okay?" Seungcheol asked delicately, motioning to the hoodie that he was currently wearing, "I wanted to wear something more comfortable and I figured you wouldn't mind." His voice sounded as though there was more to it but he didn't want to say. Joshua just shook his head and smiled a bit.   
"No of course not." He cleared his throat and motioned to his position he was currently in. "Is that how you're going to pose?" Seungcheol nodded.   
  
  
Joshua began sketching his outline and his body onto the canvas, he was taking note of every curvature that he could see within his body, making sure he had every detail that he could in the outline of charcoal before gathering all of his paint and getting everything he needed together. This was somewhat of a dream come true but a nightmare for him all at the same time. On one hand, he finally was getting to stare at Seungcheol willingly while he painted him, but that brought up the feelings that he had for him and they were threatening to spill out at any moment. He kept his composure and just started to blend all of the colors that would match Seungcheol's skin, his eyes, his lips, the hoodie, his hair; everything.  
  
  
Joshua wanted to take this moment to make sure that everything was perfect and that he could make the absolute best portrait of him as he could. His eyes focused on every single detail of Seungcheol and he found himself staring for much longer than he needed to, but he was so gorgeous to Joshua that he couldn't help it. The whole time, Seungcheol looked content. He looked comfortable, like he didn't have a care in the world and that he was genuinely enjoying himself. They didn't talk a lot through the first couple of hours. It wasn't completely silent because they started to play some soft music in the background, which didn't help Joshua's beating heart because all he could think about was how much he liked Seungcheol and how much he wanted to be with him in one way or another, but how far fetched that idea was.   
  
  
After a couple of hours, Joshua had made quite a lot of progress, almost being done except for minute little details. While he was fixing up some of the small things that he wanted to add, Seungcheol sat up a bit more, turning down the music and looking over at Joshua.   
"I want to ask you something, but don't let it distract you from painting." His voice was soft, delicate like an angel and that alone was enough to distract Joshua, but he remained calm and continued what he was doing.   
Joshua nodded, continuing the soft brush strokes against the canvas, putting some finishing touches on his hair and other small details.   
"Sure, what is it?"   
  
  
There was a long pause before Seungcheol decided to speak up again. Much like earlier, it was almost like he wanted to say something but he didn't know how or he wasn't sure that he should. His voice wavered for a moment, not making a coherent thought before he took a breath and let it out slowly. "I know it isn't a personal thing, but we've been best friends for years now and you've never let me see any of your drawings or paintings besides a few here and there. Is there a reason why?"   
  
Joshua wasn't exactly expecting that to be the question, but it relieved him slightly, but he couldn't think of a reason quick enough that wouldn't sound completely like a lie.   
"It's just because the subject matter isn't exactly what you'd expect is all." He shrugged, moving his eyes back and forth between the canvas and Seungcheol.   
  
"The subject matter? What is it, like nudes or something?" Seungcheol laughed, the sound echoing through the room and through Joshua's entire being. He shook his head and laughed along with him.   
  
"No it isn't nudes or anything inappropriate it's just.... embarrassing." That was the only word Joshua could think of to describe it without making it obvious that it was Seungcheol.   
  
"Can I guess what it is?" His voice was soft and it had a sense of knowing to it, like he had information and knowledge of what it was, but he was keeping it to himself.   
"Sure if you want." Joshua shrugged, honestly not believing that he would ever guess.   
  
"I will after you're done, how about that?" Joshua nodded and smiled.   
  
It went quiet once again, and it stayed that way for about another hour as Joshua started to finish up his painting of Seungcheol. The more he worked on it, the more realistic it became, the more beautiful it looked, and the more he realized just how bad he had it for Seungcheol. He didn't know how he would be able to handle it because he knew there was no chance in the world they'd be together. 

  
"There we go, all finished." Joshua smiled proudly as he stared over his painting of Seungcheol. He was very proud of it and he hoped that Seungcheol would like it just as much as he did. He almost wished that he could keep it for himself and have it to remind him of how gorgeous Seungcheol is inside and out. Cheol was quick to jump up and walk over to the canvas. When he saw the portrait in front of him, he was speechless. He couldn't believe that Joshua had made this. It was incredible, unbelievable. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he glanced at Joshua, having slight tears in his eyes.   
  
"This is beautiful." He paused and turned to the canvas again, then back to Joshua. "Do you really see me this way?" His voice quiet, suddenly self conscious.   
"Of course I do, Cheol. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I think you're beautiful inside and out and I wouldn't just tell you that because I'm your best friend." Josh smiled at him, rubbing his back gently. 

"Do you know who Dora Maar is?" Seungcheol asked out of the blue, causing Joshua to glance up at him curiously.   
  
"Of course, every good artist knows who Dora Maar is. I'm surprised you know who she is." Joshua's voice had a genuine sense of surprise in it, to which Seungcheol nodded.  
  
"She's pretty popular." He paused for a moment before speaking up again, "I started to look into Picasso and other artists when I found out you liked art." He blushed slightly and cleared his throat. "I started to study it and study artists that I thought you might like but I never said anything because you were always so secretive about your art and I think I know why. You like to draw me, don't you?" His question took Joshua by surprise and at this point he was like a jumbling mess and couldn't find his words.   
  
"I've seen your sketchbooks before even though you try to hide them. I see the way that you stare at me sometimes while you're sketching if we're hanging out and there's no way that you're just looking at me to look at me. I figured that's why you're so quick to hide things, like this morning when you shut your sketchbook so quickly. That just seems like the reason you're so closed up about your art, because I didn't think it was because you were shy or insecure about your art." Seungcheol kept an intense, but not demeaning stare on Joshua as he spoke. "So, am I right? Do you do art of me a lot?" His voice was soft, but his eyes didn't waver from Joshua's once.   
  
Joshua could feel his heart beating out of his chest at the moment, each word spilling from Joshua's mouth causing his hands to shake slightly. Did Seungcheol really know this whole time and just decided to keep it to himself? Why wouldn't he have brought it up? Joshua was so embarrassed but he didn't want to admit it, even though it was true. It was so hard to speak with Seungcheol so close to him and his intense stare in his eyes. He didn't break eye contact but he just nodded. "You're right.. I draw and paint you, and things based off of you all the time and I've been embarrassed to show you because I thought you'd get the wrong idea." His words came out slow and quiet, his cheeks flushing with red from the pure and sheer embarrassment he was feeling. 

Seungcheol smiled at him and cupped his cheek softly, shaking his head. "You mean the idea that you're gay and you have feelings for me?"   
  
Joshua felt like he was dreaming, he felt like this was an illusion and that this wasn't actually happening. He couldn't wrap his head around the situation right now. Was it actually happening? He just sat and got to paint Seungcheol, the man he had feelings for after years of being friends, and now he was unpacking everything Joshua was trying so hard to keep secret. His heart was racing and he felt like he could pass out any minute but he kept himself together long enough to nod again.   
  
"How did you know?" Joshua's voice was small and Seungcheol just smiled and chuckled.   
"It's not hard to tell. The way you look at me, the love in your eyes. I can see it." He whispered. "And you know, I'm surprised you couldn't tell the same thing from me." Seungcheol whispered and lowered himself so that they were the same level.   
  
"Can I kiss you?" Seungcheol whispered as he stared Joshua in his eyes. They were both looking at one another intently, hearts beating at the same quick pace, eyes wide from the closeness and the feeling of the moment. Joshua felt like he could pass out, and Seungcheol was nervous as ever. Joshua nodded and Seungcheol leaned in to kiss him. It was a short kiss, but it was what they had both been waiting for.   
  
They both smiled when Seungcheol pulled away from him and he laughed softly.  
  
"Now you can be my Dora Maar." Joshua whispered, looking into Seungcheol's eyes. "You can be the subject of my art, a poet, and my love. Because you're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on."   
  
Seungcheol blushed and just smiled, nodding slowly. "I'd love to, as long as I'm the only one."   
  
"I'd never want it any other way." They both smiled at one another, and shared another kiss, blissfully beginning their relationship from that point on. 


End file.
